Dear Blog,
As you could see.. my mood is already not so gd today!!!
I don't knw why is it that my life is so difficult!!!
And everythg i do is like I can't do. Can't do this and can't do that...
Although it might seems like a normal thg to do.
I guess that not many ppl wld understand this...

I wanted a diff kind of life. Although I must alwayz remember that there are still more unfortunate poorer ppl out there, they can alwayz change their fate... by working hard, ppl suffering of illness, can alwayz try & find medicine, stupid ppl can alwayz try to study hard, ugly ppl can alwayz go for plastic surgery.... but for ppl like me, born into this kind of family...
How do you chg ur fate?
Alwayz & alwayz rebel?
Smp bila? Then why do u waste all ur life following what they want & still its not enough for them?

Then talking abt my fiancee.. He's alwayz thinking of himself and he simply dun understand me coz even though he's like that, makes big mistakes.. he cld alwayz stay inside his room and his family won't bother, nag or say anythg much to him.. Juz let him be in his own world.
But for me.. their words are alwayz so hurtful. I can't even have any peacefulness whenever i stay in the family. I kind of hate them but i try to shake off the feelings. Hw cld you hate ur own family kan?

But... why must father be wali to daughter? I dun feel like looking at him at my nikah. Why is it so difficult huh? Why can't I have my mum back?? If father is gone, I am sure that I won't have this kind of problem... Maybe it wld be a better place for me to live, not regretting being born into this kind of family...

I don't know why ppl do not understand... but even my fiancee is acting like he doesn't care.. fine lah.. if he doesn't care that he can't meet me... then just go n play his games 24 hrs till he dies!! Why even bothered to get married? Then its okay with him lah?
Doesn't even care abt my feelings like what I feel if I can't meet him? Does he thinks that he's so special or what?? I hate him when he acts like that. So Ignorant! Only because of him inside my life that I am able to continue all this shit, endure all this shit... N now... he can so easy says thgs that I dun wanna hear! Pelik lah aku with ppl!!

Now.. I dunno what am i gonna do?? Do I decide to nikah aje or what? Who's gonna support me in all these thgs??