IS LOVE JUST AN ILLUSION?

28/12/2007 Friday:
Its nearly the ending of 2007...
I had came across a very good blog today from a guy's perspectives of love...
I will copy & paste it here:

If true love exists, why do we fall in & out of love? If we are now ‘in love’ with someone new, does that mean our past relationships were just lies, or products of our minds?
I believe that while some love relationships are genuine, others are merely illusions supported by our beliefs.
A gal may convince herself she is in love with a guy because he happens to satisfy her criteria of an ideal partner. Likewise, a guy may believe he loves a gal because he is lonely and longs for a love relationship.
So how do you tell if yours is for real? Only YOU can answer that.
Can you stop loving a person and love another? Yes, definitely.
Does that make you a fickle person? Not necessarily.

Love, as in any relationship, has its upswings and downswings, and quite often, it fails.
You may stop loving the person completely or you may choose to quit the relationship, even if feelings still exist. Perhaps staying on would have destroyed whatever love is left. Perhaps continuing the relationship will only ruin your future. So you quit the relationship. But did you quit on LOVE?
I’ve been through a few failed long-term relationships. One was doomed because I was naïve. Another got nipped in the bud because SHE was naïve. Third one went bust because the illusion it was based on could no longer be sustained. A forth crashed because time revealed the ‘love’ to be nothing more than a close friendship. *sigh*
If true love does exist, how could we love one person after another? I admit I loved every single one of my ex-es, albeit each differently. I still think of them & wish them well. But my heart remains mine to give. And I have.
To the one I pray will be my true companion, who will walk life’s winding road with me till death do us part.

So.. now it makes me wonder if i had 4 ex-es, do i love all of them?
The answer is a definite NO.
I've only truly love a person only (going to two if it includes my current guy) and aft that it was only a mutual feeling of Like+Sayang+Blinded.
Then hw abt all the other guys who claimed to love me?
That's when i have to be smart & differenciate between Love with Lust.
Guys will always wanna get to know/be in a r'ship with a gal with a great body & if she comes with a beautiful/sweet/pretty face & fair skin then its consider a bonus.
So does that means that they Love me?
Definitely no ryte... As if i'm that stupid.
I'm not a bimbo okay... But yes, i used to be a fool.
Coz i've always hope & dreamt of r'ship sort of like the fairytales & romance novels/dramas/movies.
So when i'm face with cold truth abt the real deal with r'ships in the real world...
I'm a bit taken aback. And sumtimes i can feel that i'm completely disgusted with men that are totally into sex.
But, when i think again, sex is actually a great thing for bonding & chemistry between couples but it's only when both parties truly love each other & not doing it half heartedly.
Dats why i'm always reluctant to go on first dates & only went out as far as one date with most guys.
Because i know that they will only lust after me and that is not Love.
How many handsome, boyish, gd looking matreps have i gone out with?
A LOT! And they are highly sought after by other gerls i'm sure.
But. Most of these types are not the type to fall in love.
Or rather they just want a trophy gf that can satisfy their lust.
One fine example is Zali. I think he considers me a trophy gf that he can show off to his frenz plus i'm like so stupid to continue & stay with gd for nothing guy like him ryte.
That's why i often wonder why people who made a sacred vow during marriage can break their promise so easily...
Do they take it so un-seriously? Or did they simply choose the wrong ones?
But why during the courtship, they didn't realized that they are not meant to be together? Why realized it aft marriage?
It is such a complicated thing ryte?
Plus if u hav made a grand wedding & such.. When ur relatives & frenz had all known abt it... Its not like u're in r'ship where not everyone will know abt it. And you will be embarassed & it will affect your future r'ship in a lot of ways.

"After a divorce, i can see that at least one party will suffer more that the other.
And all i can say is that it takes a lot of patience & encouragement & definitely true love for someone to be with a divorcee."

I will write abt my 2008 resolutions in my next entry. :)

I am truly grateful to you for giving my boyfriend back to me.
Thank you!

But.. i'm kinda dissapointed to hear another story from him..
Everytime its a different story that dissapoints me.
I think its best that i don't hear anymore stories from his past that can affects the r'ship.
Thats all.
We shld all look forward to the future.