Monday, 10/03/2008:

I feel really bad that i think so badly of him & accuse him of taking the pills... I feel bad that i am feeling this way... Whereas, i know that he's an emotionally unstable person... N we always argue abt the pill nowadays...

But, i really can't help it... Coz whenever something like this happens, i can't help but feel that why am i the one who have to pick up the pieces of his past?

Yeah lah... coz when he already had his fun with all the girls (his exs) or the other way round, i'm the one who have to bear all these consequences.

Plus, i kept on thinking on why do i have to lead the way that he is used to (like going to the hotel)... N when they (his exs) all had their fun n leave him with no money n debts (his exs & ex wife), i am still the only one girl who sticks with him despite him having absolutely nothing in his life?
But i know that he's trying really hard for me... I know that he's working so hard for me too... N i know that he loves me.
Am i stupid or what to stick by him? No? Or... Maybe coz i pity him so much? Or.. Maybe coz i did love him? I dun really know the answer....

I kept on thinking... All the money that was spend when he go to the hotels in the past(which is a lot), i think will be enough for my hantaran sey... :(

So now, whenever i'm facing somethg like this... I assure myself that God has written the fates for me to meet him so that i can help him and set his life straight...
Maybe true love is all abt making sacrifices ryte? So i have to sacrifice my whole life for him.

But, sometimes i feel that i'm not strong enough and ppl will always want a husband who can guide & cares for them ryte? Not the other way round.....
Now i have to pity myself before i pity him. But still i won't give up and will live my life to the fullest and hoping that i can achieve something in my life.

THE END.