Just now just chatted at msn with Aishah, a fren of my ex, Z.
She said that he 24/7 says that he misses me a lot and always say that he really wants me back.
She also said that everybody (as in bdk2 kat sana) misses me a too..... So SWEET ryte..

But alas.. i got to know that he oredi quit his new job!!
The same old thing again.
I dunno wats going on inside his mind lah. Dun noe wat was he thinking.
And dah start lepak2 balik, tak tentu hala, mmg dah tak alik umah, minum, main takraw n bola 24 jam.. and the rest of the thgs that he did when he was with me.
That always makes me worried all the time!!

Kdg2 strez jgk must follow him and kalau tak smp hati tgk bf takda umah, kene temankan dia slalu, bwk kan or belikan makanan, takda duit nak kluar tgk wyg or just chill out at shopping centres, give him money for the ciggies and job interviews (which he nvr goes).. All the sacrifices that i made just for him.

He's really one of a kind lah.. selama we stead, we never even go out like a couple! Alwayz with his friends at the same area. Any gerl would get bored ryte?
But i'm the patient type coz i believe that he will change one day.

But he's the one who broke it off with me. Can't imagine my sadness at that point of time. My body was shivering all over coz i didn't really expect it to happen. It should be me who dumped him but instead he dumped me!

Now he's regretting it coz he noes that i'm the nicest gf of all and his frenz all says that he's stupid to let go of me.

N he expects me to accept him back? Duh!!
Coz i'm not the same Ina as he used to know.

Recently, my ex Hasri, came back into my life.
Was really unexpected coz he's the one that i hate the most and at the same time, love the most.
Was crying when he called me coz i simply cannot hear his voice lah.. Really2 cannot hear it. After such a long time, it juz felt so emotional. N i know that he still cares & loves me.
Said that he wanna meet me coz he wants to explain things. I dun noe if i have the courage or not to face him. Its been so long.. Scared i will cry. I dun wanna cry in front of him.

Is it fated to be?
Is it meant to be?

Haizz...... Another more to think about.

Still trying so hard to find a room. But i'm very particular abt who am i going to live with. AND the toilet must be clean. Plus the rental must be affordable within my means lah.. Haizz.. Nasib, nasib...
I'm still hesitating coz i'm not used to living away from my family... No matter how worst the situation is.. Paling2 i will stay at my auntie's place.. :(

Today... Was a hell of a bad day coz of what happens..
My life had been hell this few weeks..
And.. Today at werk, I'm starting to feel sick coz of the pressure. Kesian aku..

Around 4 pm i received a call from a guy friend, A. I've known him for quite sometime. He said that he was sorry that he and his friend can't make it the other day to c'brate my birthday even though i've waited for them for 30 mins under the blk. Luckily i decided to wait upstairs. And after 1 hour i decided to wash my make up. Haizz.. bad for skin sey...

He asked to meet me today so that he can make up for what he did the other day.
And i said i was lazy but he said he only wants to pass my birthday present which he bought the other day and also just chilled out and eat.

So i agreed you see. Coz i consider him as a friend.. but dear me, when i reach CCK, i found out that he brought his friend, D, along. Ok, itu tak pasal.. then i have to tumpang his friend..
Pastu kata nak gi Causeway Point bu then terus gi tepi causeway near Kranji.. Nak tgk pemandangan konon..

After that dorg nak withdraw duit and i wait at the motorcycle.. Dorg mati2 suroh ina bukak helmet.. But i dun want coz paisey and futhermore leceh. But then unexpected after they withdraw duit and come back, my friend wants to go sumwhere for a while and he says he wanted his design helmet which he asks me to wear.

Then his friend D ckp ok we'll meet at Causeway Point nye basement. I was very hungry at that point of time but i just wait. Then after i open the helmet i give to A. But he was doing sumting and haven't open his helmet. So he asks me to put on his motor. Then terus in a minute, THEY are GONE!!!

I really thought my eyes were playing tricks on me coz they left me in a middle of nowhere with no bus and taxi at all. I don't even know the road name!! I wait for a while for them to come back and they never come back. And after that i started to cry coz there were a lot of foreign workers there and i'm scared to death.

Luckily a kind taxi driver save me. I called the Smart Cab hotline and the taxi driver very the patient and search for me. Thanks uncle!!

And i was my goddamn $12 becaus e of the 2 guys, with no birthday present and nothing to eat. Was very tired and sleepy. A lesson to be learnt not to trust guys anymore. After that i go back home my dad scold me of my auntie issue and asked me to go out of the house. I was tempted to pack my clothes and get out but i think of all the negative things first and decided not to.

I cried all the way until i slept. A very bad day indeed.

28th June 2007 --> I went clubbing for the first time at MOS after my 21st birthday with a group of guy frens (Six guys, one gerl!). Was quite a fun experience. At least once in a lifetime kan must try somethg...

But i could say that if i had a choice, i regreted going with him. (Boy).

These are some the pics from my childhood..... Baby pic and the one with my lil cousin. He's so cute!! But.. I'm definitely not a very cute baby. And when i'm in primary school, i was a bit an ugly gerl, small eyes and very skinny (even though now fat oredi.. haha).. and big teeth.

That pic with my mum and dad is my favourite coz its a very rare pic. I really miss my mum sumtimes.. wish that she was still here with me. :(

I think my childhood was quite nice and happy one until the day that my mum died coz of cancer on 22nd june when i was nine yrs old. After that life was a hell for me. And i grew up with lots of hatred. And the need to be loved.

Haha.. I welcome myself to the world of blogging.. Klakar kan baru first time discover it.. Now trying to organize it.
So far up until now...... 12th July 2007..
My life has been a failure. I have no life, no love life, no complete family life, still no savings..
Only problems and more problems je..

1) Problem with an aunt who doesnt likes me and my siblings. Thinks that she is all rich and mighty and always right.
2) Problem with a dad who likes to listen to others more than her own daughter.
Who makes me suffer from the age of nine until now. If i had a choice, i will prefer to have my mother rather than my father.
3) Problem with a stepmother who doesnt seems to care.
4) Problem with an aunt who likes to ungkit2 and nvr satisfied with what i have given her up until now.
5) Problem with guys who never seems to understand and can't handle rejections.
6) Problem with a jealous colleague.
7) Problem in managing my own money.
8) Problem in finding the right job to supplement my income.
9) Problem in hearing more problems from my bestfriends.
10) Problem in renting out a house.

Always problems... But i still try to face the world with a smile coz i know that there are many others outside who suffers more than me.

--------> A beautiful world can only be seen through the eyes of a peaceful and happy heart. <-----------

Smlm very the happy coz dapat my pay and also my gst offset..
So bulan nie senanglah sikit.. I realli hope that i can save $500 this month. :)

Smlm i have gone shopping with my friend at Tangs and Far East Plaza.
We tour the whole shopping centre and then we proceed to Plaza Singapura.

So happy u know to beat the new gst. We eat shop and eat again.
Then at night we wait for a taxi from 11.15 am to 12 am and there is still diff to get one. So my friend at last ask her friend to fetch her and i wait until her friend comes and a fetch a taxi.

Kene altogether $21+.. What a waste of money because of the midnight charge!!!

Lucky there is no one at home coz i reach home at ard 2 am.. So tired but happy!