Haizz... Kdg2 kesian jgk lah tgk matair aku ehk?
Tak tau lah apa yg aku nak... It's not that i don't love him... I really do love him.
I love him more than i've loved anyone else. (including my family members)
Tapi mayb kdg2 hati sendiri yg tk tenang.. Dats funny ryte?
Could i live forever like this??
Or i could choose to forget everythg that had happened, pretend that it nvr happen & he's the first one for me & juz be happy together.
But, can't really forget coz dere's a living proof of his daughter with the ex wife.
Even worst she's so close to me.. marrying a relation of mine. What the heck?!
This muz be god's test to me ryte?
I muz say that when i'm wif him.. in real life, i won't think of these thgs.
Its juz dat when i'm somewhere else then i will think abt it.

When i told him that i dun wanna met his ex wife ever. I do really meant it.
No, of cos i'm not jealous of her.
Its a fact that he loves me more than her.
But i can't accept ppl who doesn't appreciates the little thgs in life.
She got a husband who's a virgin for god sake (although he may not be perfect husband).
N she got a nice house & family. What more could she wants?
Some more she could be so mean & give him to try unnecessary thgs in life.
And.. the one that i can't accept at all is that she consented in her husband doing such a wrong thgs. How can someone juz kept quiet abt it?
Some more she didn't asked for the divorce. It's like she's contented in living that way.
I meant like if she's a good and righteous person, even though u feel like u dun love/hate that person, u should at least give an advise to them. Nie tak..
Dunno what kind of person is this...?
Then, at last i have to clean up the mess that she created.
That is why I hope i won't meet her ever. N i hope she won't attend my wedding later.
Yeah.. I know i'm being a bitch... :( That's the bitch in me talking...

Sometimes, i feel that i create unnecessary thgs so that one day he will be fed up and he will eventually break up with me.
Better now than later ryte? But he juz won't budge..
Maybe it's true that he does loves me a lot??