Thursday, April 10, 2008

Its really sad & heartbreaking to see and it's really bothering me a lot on people with low moral issues such example is Wan, his EX WIFE and his first EX... Being 32, 33, 34.. they are all much more older than me but the thgs that they had learnt in life is so limited.. Sumthg which i cannot connect at all. Why is there such things happening in our malay society??

I still find that his ex wife is still okay compared to his ex. Even though the role as a wife is not acceptable to me but to compare her with his ex which obviously targets a married man such as Wan so that she could have free housing, FREE SEX, free money n even free assistant to help her sell the pills.. Hahaha what a joke!

Why ppl get married in the first place if marriage vows are not taken seriously and when its obvious that there is no intention of settling down yet.
Should at least give consideration on the emotional pain and fustration inflicted on both parties and esp to the children, when both parties are out fooling around.
Parents should be a role model to their child.What will it be like if on one hand you are teaching your children about moral values, while on the other, you are doing the exact opposite...

Upset lah wif this kind of ppl.. when i see his daughter face, i felt so guilty n pitied her for having such parents. I hope they both had changed for the better with a better partners to guide them... Amin.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I pray that i will be a beautiful successful woman one day with a caring & loving husband and a happy family of her own...
Can do some charity works, donations, holidays... n everthg that i can ever dream of... Like Angelina Jolie...
To have a fulfilling life in such a short life of a human being...
To enjoy life as it is..
To take each day as it is...
That's basically what i wish for the future...

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

I came across this blog entry at anakmelayu today:

"If a girl cries in front of you, it means that she couldn't take it anymore...
If you take her hand, she would stay with you for the rest of your life; if you let her go, she couldn't go back to being herself anymore... (VERY TRUE!!!)
A girl wont cry easily, Except in front of the person who she love the most, she becomes weak.. (VERY TRUE!!!)
A girl wont cry easily, only when she loves you the most, she put down her ego. Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you please hold her hands firmly, she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.
Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you, please dont give her up, maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life. When she cry rite in front of you, when she cry bcoz of you, Look into her eyes, Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?
Think... . Which other girl have cried wif pure sincerity, Infront of you, And bcoz of you? She cry not because she is weak, She cry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity, She cry, Because crying silently is no longer possible, the pain, hurt, n agony have become too big a burden to be kept inside..."

It makes me think of an incident ard March 2006 when i was still a very stupid & silly girl so blindly in love and that's the only time that I've ever cried in front of a guy (So badly pulak tu..).

At that time.. We are on the verge of a breaking up and i dunno why i was so very very sad and i cannot even slept the night before when he told me he wanna broke up with me and the tears really cannot stop from falling.. After that, every single day i juz continue wif my life.. N i dun even feel like meeting/kenal2 wif other guys.
It juz feels weird when guys wanna get to know you and u r still hung up over one particular guy. Am i crazy or wat?

A week later, he suddenly said that he wanna meet up wif me and to finish some unsettle business.. Suddenly, when we meet up, it felt strange as if we r some kind of strangers.. I dun really know what to talk to him n what to expect...

But out of sudden, he hug me and starts to kiss me at his fav spot and we r sitting at our fav spot and it juz seems so familiar n i starts thinking that hw am i gonna live without him.. n i really felt like crying when he said that he really missed me a lot this 1 wk.. I was so happy n so sad at that time that the tears start flowing a little by little and when he noticed that his shoulders r wet and he asked me whether i'm crying or not...

I was so embarassed n tried to cover but i failed terribly and started to cried uncontrollably like a baby!!!
I was really so overwhelmed by emotions coz I really do love him a lot at that time.
And i really can't imagine myself being with somebody else... So we patch up...
But its no use coz less that two months later we broke up completely and i was me who give him the FINAL ans.

When i give him the final sms, i didn't feel anythg coz i really thot that he's gonna explains himself.. but turns up that he's so cruel and the reality starts to sink in later at nyte when i realised that he's really gonna break up.

I cried myself to sleep and all the days after.. I was suffering for months...
Everytime my friends (guys & gerls) called me and we brought up the topic, i will cry. It was like so bad.. I dunno why he had that effects on me!! Stupid!!
Up until from that moment, until now... I dun think i have ever loved/cried for anybody else as much as i does it for him.
And gradually, dats why i began to hate him so much coz he's making me suffer by making me love him so much.

I must learnt to let go of all these memories n accept the reality that me and him r not meant to be together and there r really someone who loves me a lot too.. More than him?
Pls, pls haseenah... wake up n come back to reality.