Remember those walls I built...

Well, baby they're tumbling down...
And they didn't even put up a fight!
They didn't even make up a sound...
I found a way to let you in...
But I never really had a doubt.

Standing in the light of your halo...
I got my angel now!
It's like I've been awakened...
Every rule I had you breakin'...
It's the risk that I'm takin'...
I ain't never gonna shut you out!

Everywhere I'm looking now...
I'm surrounded by your embrace...
Baby I can see your halo...
You know you're my saving grace...

You're everything I need and more...

It's written all over your face...
Baby I can feel your halo... Pray it won't fade away!

I can feel your halo halo halo... I can see your halo halo halo... I can feel your halo halo... halo... I can see your halo halo halo...

Hit me like a ray of sun.. Burning through my darkest night...
You're the only one that I want...
Think I'm addicted to your light...
I swore I'd never fall again...

But this don't even feel like falling...
Gravity can't forget... To pull me back to the ground again...

Feels like I've been awakened...
Every rule I had you breakin'...
The risk that I'm takin'...
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now...
I'm surrounded by your embrace...

Baby I can see your halo...
You know you're my saving grace!!
You're everything I need and more...
It's written all over your face...
Baby I can feel your halo...
Pray it won't fade away...

I can feel your halo halo halo...
I can see your halo halo halo...
I can feel your halo halo halo...
I can see your halo halo...

Just four simple words from him.. And it can really make my day... :)

I did not manage to go the car lucky draw today... Its so sad... I really really want that car.. to the point of desperation.
I want the extra money.. I need to buy a house... Ouh my...
Its really sad... We do not have enough money... I just need a little bit of money...
Pls God help us... We need to start a new life...
Please give us a chance to start a new life... to build a family...

My stomach still hurts a bit today...
N today is the first day of my cost accounting class.
I hope the teacher is much more better than Mr Bala.
N it seems that he's better... His teachings are much more clearer...
This week I got 3 days class... wow!! Nie blom puasa lage...
For next week... I got 4 days of class...!!!
Tired lah.. dis is all Mr Bala.. he postpone class so many times...
N drag it till the fasting month...

Today I'm feeling more emotional...
Coz my stomach hurts very badly and my body is aching...
I miss him so much... I wish he was here with me...
I hope that 6th June would come very fast and I do not need to endure this much longer...
I love him so much that it hurts me not to be with him everyday...
I was juz thinking this morning how fun it is to be a housewife and we could shop/go market together and we could cook together...
Makes me smile thinking of it...

Today i went out with my fiancee...
After I went to book the cake for our wedding...
Also I was feeling very weak today but I still want to spend time wif him...
Haizzz... I felt so sad when I drop him off at Wdls MRT...
Kau after aku dah salam dia, he do not wanna let go of my hand.
Maybe coz I couldn't bear to part with him... Dats what happens when u love a person too much... So I thot even if I would die tomorrow, I would still be thankful that I had find my soulmate although I would be happier if I could die as his wife.
Then we could even be together in heavens... amin...

Haizzz... Its friday today yet i'm super busy at work...
And I OT at work till 8 pm... nasib dpt naik cab... And I can claim...
Dahlah kepala pening nk muntah coz haven't eat anythg since morning...
Hope my boss will see that i'm the most hardworking of all...

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY TO SINGAPORE!!!
HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY....

Hi blog....

I think that I always forget you when i'm busy...
I am now thinking abt our house... and also room decor and wedding cake...
Life is pretty busy with this accounts course...
Its making me headache...
Today I went out with him... Happy... Spend time wif him he can release stress...
Go gym (contour express) before meeting him.. Nearby his hse aje...
Aku pelik lah... When did I gain so much weight?!
But very expensive lah... I dun think Wan kasi aku sign up... Haizzz....
Mcm mana nie aku nk lose weight in 6 months?
God pls help me.. Most method doesn't works... Help me lose at least 15 kg... Amin...

Hi blog... I think I always forget you coz i'm happy nowadays... and I'm super2 busy... with accts class n all... But... I wonder why my nenek likes to membebel? Kdg2 stress...
Maybe nowadays young ppl likes to take thgs more easy.. Coz this world is already so stressful... And she likes to stress on most things... Haizz... Must take it lor...

I turn my head to the east...
I don't see nobody by my side...
I turn my head to the west...
Still nobody in sight...
So I turn my head to the North...
Swallow that pill that they call pride...
The old me is dead & gone..
But the new me will be all right.

Oh hey.. I've been travelling on this road too long....
Just trying to find my way back home...
But the old me is dead & gone... Dead & Gone...

*You would know that no matter what.. you only have yourself to depend on n your spouse (provided you must find someone who's really gonna be dere for you..)

Wow.. I'm so happy today...
Just now go out with my fiancee...
Marah pon dah hilang psl dah jumpa...
Then ketawa2... joke around.. kesian dia tk cukup tido...
Then we go eat and watch movie... Obsessed...
then check weight with Jane.. what the fuck.. seems like so fat...
Bored.. tapi still can eat nasi beriyani & ice cream!
What the hell... Haha...
Happy & I miss him a lot...
Maybe dis is what love feels like huh??
Everytime he still looks so cute to me no matter hw tired or busuk or dishevelled or tk terurus he is...
Dats my baby... :)

Another 2 more months n it will be our 2 yrs anniversary... Huhu...

My fiancee is not a bad person...
But he dunno how to amek hati wanita..
I guess its good that he's not a ladies man...
But it makes me depressed. N sad.
Tapi smlm aku really malu dgn remy..
Psl otak aku serabut jadi mcm gitu.... Malu tau!!!

My fiancee is a very cruel person...
He does not love me anymore. He doesn't seems happy to hear my voice.
Just now I called him and he does not even talks.
He likes to sleep and he does not even care anymore...
He does not know hw to make a girl happy.
I kept thinking all these words when i put down the fone with him.
And suddenly.. at home... I got to know that I lost my hp.
Now my fiancee makes me lost my hp. And Remy have to clear up the mess for me and fetch the hp for me.

Its difficult to have a fiancee like this.
Always making me unhappy.
What kind of life is this anyway?
Is this the kind of life that he wants?
Sometimes u will question the meaning of love... with a person who always seems like he doesn't care at all. In his everyday life dia cuma buat:
1) Tido
2) Smoke
3) Mkn (sekali sekala aje)
4) Kerja inc. OT
5) Minum coke
6) Sex
7) Watch porn/gore
8) bebual dgn aku sekali sekala
9) watch movie dat he likes
10) Jln sorg2
11) Play IPOD when he's nt doing all the thgs above.
Mcm tkda benda tk berfaedah kan?

I think its a chance meeting.
Its definitely fate. When he came to take the perfume, Remy seems to get along well with my grandma, uncle and auntie.
N how did he suddenly became my dad's colleague.
Suddenly, he knows everyone in my family. Dat is kind of scary.
N he is really kind... he helps me sell the perfume too.
Brought me to a clinic and hear abt my problems... n he told me he could bring me to JB and even to the kubur coz he alwayz visits his father's grave and I could visit my mum n my grandpa.
He seems kind of sumthg... coz he didn't get to know me earlier.. before i became someone else fiancee...
But... my heart only belongs to one and nothing cld change that...(even though he's nt as gd as the others).
If he is okay, I will let him get to know my sister.

On Monday....
I celebrated my 23rd birthday wif my fiancee...
It does nt went off to a gd start... N we met our videoman first...
But after that... it went okay... we bonded over the day... N makes us closer...
It was great... He's such a sweet guy...
Ada satu part nie... I think he kinda cried when he told me that he dunno what he wld do without me.. and dat he's afraid of losing me... Aww... dat literally melts my heart...
N aft dat, almost everyday he fetch me either to work or from work... :)
Everyday is almost filled with laughter...
Only on thursday did sumthg worst nearly happened... N i swear, i wld try not to make him rent a car again... coz its partly my fault... N i'm worried sick abt him...
N i hope that it won't happened again!!!
Now i'm thinking of money again... N where to get more money...
Oh!! I'm such a money minded freak!!
But what to do.. nowadays... everythg needs money....

Happy 23rd birthday to me!!
This is the year I celebrated as a fiancee...
So happy... :) :)
Coz I love him so much...
Next year... I will celebrate it as his wife pulak...
Tk sabar nya...
Hopefully I could have a happy and blissful live ever after...
Full of happiness and achivements and blessings...

ALL THE THINGS THAT I SHOULD LOOK FORWARD TOO TO MAKE MY LIFE MORE MEANINGFUL:

1) 21st June: My 23rd Birthday!!
2) 22nd June: Spend time & relax
3) 23rd June: Accounting course
4) 28th June: Volunteer work
5) 1st July: GST Credit & Pay
6) 1st wk of July: Meet up with Friends/facial
7) 15th Aug: Take baju frm tailor @ JB
8) Middle of Aug: Book bridal spa package
9) 22nd Aug: Start of fasting
10) 20th Sept: Hari Raya Aidilfitri
11) 27th Oct: My dear birthday!!!
12) Hari Raya Haji, and all year end holidays...
13) 6th Dec: Book MPH/take up driving license...
14) Dec/Jan: Buy hantaran dulang
15) End of Jan '10: Another payrise!!
16) Feb '10: Studio photoshoot/selection of clothes
17) March '10: Berkat and wedding cards and finishing my accounts course... Insyallah!!!
18) Early June '10: Final fittings, facial n spa...
19) 6th of June 2010: My fairytale wedding!!!!
20) 7th of June: Off for honeymoon...
21) 21st June: My 24th Birthday as a wife!!!

I never needed you to be strong...
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs....
I never needed pain, I never needed strength...
My love for you was strong enough you should have known...

I never needed you for judgements...
I never needed you to question what I spent....
I never ask for help, I take care of myself...
I don't know why you think you've got a hold on me...

And its a little late for conversations...
There isn't anything for you to say...
And my eye's hurt, my hand's shiver...
So look at me and listen to me....

I never needed your corrections...
On everything from how I act to what I say...
I never needed words
I never needed hurts
I never needed you to be there everyday....

I'm sorry for the way I let go...
From everything I wanted when you came along....
But I'm never beaten... Broken not defeated...
I know next to you is not where I belong...

And it's a little late for explanations...
There isn't anythg that you can do...
And my eye's hurt, and hand's shiver....
So you will listen when I say....