I just dun understand why guys always treat me like i'm the scandal, i'm the timer,
i'm the other women, i'm the symbol of lust.......
Is it because of me? The way i acts?
I don't think so.....
Where else i've always yearn for something called LOVE not LUST!

I have to say that i'm very dissapointed in you.

Coz you've lied to me 3 times (n god noes hw many more?).
Coz you nvr show me an effort at all.
Coz you have shown ur symbol of weakness.
Coz i know that u've still got sumting to hide.
Coz you pretended to love me.

There is no need for you to come back just for you to break my heart all over again. You can spare me all the heartaches..
But i have to say that you've teach me a lot in my life.
Which is not to trust a guy ever again.

Tomorrow will be your birthday.. but i have decided not to send you that stupid card that i had made...........
Whatever it is.. Happy Advance Birthday to you. May u be happy alwayz forever.

Miss Natasha Fazlini...

Heartbroken by a few.
Wanted by many.
Taken by none.
Looking at some.
Still waiting for the one...............

18/07/07 --> Today i'm a bit emotional and cranky coz of what i had just known.. but its ok.. Life still goes on.. I sometimes wonder.. why guys cant just concentrate on one? Why wld they say that they like/love you but still gets to know other gerls? Why must they lie to you everytime? Why must they come back and breaks your heart?

Sometimes... God Breaks Our Spirit To Save Our Soul...
Sometimes... He Breaks Our Heart To Make it Whole...
Sometimes... God Send Us Pain So We Could Be Stronger...
Sometimes... He Send Us Failure So That We Could Be Humble...
Sometimes... God Sends Us Illness So That We Can Take Care Of Ourselves Better... Sometimes... He Takes Sumthing From Away From Us So That We Can Learn The Value Of Everything That He Had Given Us..
Everything happens for a reason. Even though life might be hard and the going get toughs for you.. You must still stand proud and face up to the world.

MEMORIES OF THE PAST:

Sept 2005 --> Ina & Ahmad F (The terror)

My 2nd (So called steady).. haha.. Was a disaster.
Pandai sweet talk aje at fone.. But turns out to be the worst ever.

Likes to threaten gerls with his gangster ways and he even involved my innocent mother (which has passed away)!!
Lasted only for a week.. haha!! Not what i called serious.

After that he did call me back at ask for forgiveness (action2 je rupenye!!) and oleh kerana i believed his sweet words (again!), i did knal2 kan him with my bestfren.. N he did the unforgivable with her!!
Worst guy ever..

• Romance is when your partner wakes up before you in the morning and lets you be the one to sleep that extra 5 mins.
• Romance is getting used to good night kisses.
• Romance is when your heart misses a beat as you wait for him to step out from the arrival hall after his trips.
• Romance is when you anxiously wait for his calls everynight like a teenager.
• Romance is sharing with each other about the day over dinner.
• Romance is when he tries to co-ordinate the colour of his shirt with what you're wearing yet vehemently denies it when asked.
• Love is getting your hands and face all greasy as you whip up a feast for him.
• Love is not relying on one person to be the pillar of strength at all times. Instead he is able to find the strength in you.
• Love is being able to see each other's point of view.
• Love is about talking proudly abt him and his achievements to your family and friends.
• Love is when you become chummy with his friends too.
• Love is when he finally understands your fear of animals/insects and be able to spot it and kills it for you.
• Love is resolving every conflicts before going to bed every night.
• Love is when you feel happy that you've finally found the one.. and spending the rest of your life with him.................

:) Nice and sweet ryte?

BIRTHDAY CARD

Since his birthday is this Saturday..

I dunno what to buy for him and since we are not officially get back together..

I have decided to just make for him a card..

So nice and pretty.. But looks a bit childish lah.. Paisey..

Scared if his mum opens the letter.. Then i think i'll just die!!

I wanna scan and put it here.. but unfortunately i dun have a scanner..

Maybe next time k.. Hehe.. I hope he likes it.

MEMORIES OF THE PAST:

From Nov 2003 --> Azmi & Ina (The Trauma)

This is so called my first stead lah.. Even though its a few weeks aje..
He's actually a nice and handsome guy.
Got to know when i'm werking at my first job at CSC Toa Payoh.

First met him ard September but unfortunately its my last day b4 i went on 1 month leave for my exams.
After i got back, i think he was searching for me.. and we chatted again and exchange no.

Then we get into a r'ship.
Reason why we're not together?
He wants us to get engaged by January and get married on December that year.
Haizz.. AND I'm only 17 sia!!

I'm so traumatized that i asked for a break up..
Scared leh coz i'm not ready to be a wife yet. Furthermore its only my first relationship..

MEMORIES OF THE PAST:

From May 2003 --> Ina & Hedeir (The fairytale)

My first love at first sight.
During jalan raya that year with Tamp bdk pondok.
I follow my best fren, Sarah, with her then bf's frenz..

He also said that he also fall in love at first sight with me.

He said he wanna talk to me.. but he was shy..
Then he said he kept looking at me..
But i never look at him.. even once!!

That is b'coz.. i thought that he was the "action" type of guy lah..
Coz i did hear a lotz abt him even b4 i met him..
But i did find him very2 cute!!

Then 2 months later he at last got my no. and picked up the courage to msg me..
From then, began the story..

Why we're not together?
Coz he just said that to Firzhan that "Our pendirian tak sama".
Full stop.

MEMORIES OF THE PAST:

From Sec 1 to Sec 3 --> Ina & Izad (Just a nick coz he looks like Ezad Exist)

My first crush is a guy from Peicai Secondary.
Slalu naik mrt sama2 at 6.20 am at wdls mrt.
Dunno why i like him.. but maybe b'coz he's always so calm and collected.

My friends pernah sanggup wait for him at AMK mrt masa balik skola just to get his no. for me tau (Sanggup sak kwn2 tak btol aku nie.. smp ez link kene deduct coz we wait for almost 1 hour tapi org yg ditunggu tak muncul2..).. Hehe.. Maybe coz they see me like mcm angau tak psl si Izad nie.. Haha!!

Thats all.

Dear me..

To accept him back or not to accept?

I've got 1 week to think about it. :(

I know that deep in my heart.. I do still love him.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever............

12th July 2007: Met you for the first time after a year and 3 months.

Why do you have to come back into my life??

Why do my heart still beats faster when i met u again after more than a year?

Why do my heart still feel the pain?

Why do the tears still fall from my eyes??

I can't barely sleep last night after the meeting.

Coz i was thinking about you.

* Bila u say u nak we get back together, i was quite shocked.. But in reality, you are still the one i love most. Coz after we broke up, all my r'ships after that is not quite the same as what we ever had.

This is getting worst.. almost everyday i will tend to take taxi to work.. Mcm mana lah nak save duit nie!! Tapi it is so very convenient and i will tend not to be late.. Kan best.. cuma part duit jelah yg tak best!! I really really hope i can kick out this bad habit..

I dun mind the travelling but i hate the bus from boon lay mrt..

#1: No aircon.

#2: Too many foreign workers.

#3: Very slow and too many corners.

#4: Makes me dizzy alwayz.

But.. i know it is still not a reason for me to take taxis!!

Please no more taxis from now on...

Tadi sempat ada org nak knal2 with me before i met my ex, Hasri..
I was so blur2 and confused and scared to meet my ex..
When this one guy holding a helmet approached me...
We didn't talk much coz my ex called ckp dah sampai.. but he did take down my no. lah..
Initially he was curious coz he said that i looked confused.
And i was wondering alone at bt gombak.
Whereas he knows that i live in wdls.
His name? Faizal. Duh. Not that name again..

The sweet part? He actually offered to send me home at night even though i said that i've board the taxi n he's all the way from bishan..
When my own ex didn't even bother to... Haizz.. :(
It upsets me so much...

Today i bought the new 5th Harry Potter movie for 9 tickets for Next Tuesday.. So very the kiasu of me hor? But its also good for family bonding too..
But i can't wait to catch it lah.. Will dream of it tonight.. I'm sure of it!! Hehe..
I wonder what it is like to live in a magical world of magics? Mesti best kan..

See the pic? This is my lovely half sister.. Ummu Aiman.. So cute ryte?

Love her to the max!! Now she's 3 yrs old.

Even though my relationship with my dad n stepmom is not that good, i still love all my 10 siblings to pieces. Esp this cute little gerl. :)

Hmm.. another 1 more week to the SIA air stewardess walk in interview.
Thought of trying my luck. Very the nervous.

I've tried to control my eating, cut and wash my hair, scrub, masque and wash my face and body properly, do body stretching exercise..

But,
I still kept on re-thinking my decisions. Tak tau nak pergi ke tak..

The reasons being:

#1: I dun have an 'A' Levels Cert.
#2: Feels like i'm a bit fat.
#3: I have a bit of acne scars at my back & face.
#4: Dun really know how to swims.
#5: Not really that tall.. only ard 1.60.

The reason why i so suddenly wants this job after so many years i kept it in my heart only:

#1: I want to get out of my house asap since my dad already says so.
#2: The pay will allow me to rent a house asap and save for the course that i wanta and also car license.
#3: Wants to make sumting out of my life.
#4: Interest in travelling.
#5: With that kind of pay, i can afford to give my dad, grandparents, siblings.. etc some money every month.

I'll think again abt my decision.. Hope it'll turn out ryte. :)

Just now just chatted at msn with Aishah, a fren of my ex, Z.
She said that he 24/7 says that he misses me a lot and always say that he really wants me back.
She also said that everybody (as in bdk2 kat sana) misses me a too..... So SWEET ryte..

But alas.. i got to know that he oredi quit his new job!!
The same old thing again.
I dunno wats going on inside his mind lah. Dun noe wat was he thinking.
And dah start lepak2 balik, tak tentu hala, mmg dah tak alik umah, minum, main takraw n bola 24 jam.. and the rest of the thgs that he did when he was with me.
That always makes me worried all the time!!

Kdg2 strez jgk must follow him and kalau tak smp hati tgk bf takda umah, kene temankan dia slalu, bwk kan or belikan makanan, takda duit nak kluar tgk wyg or just chill out at shopping centres, give him money for the ciggies and job interviews (which he nvr goes).. All the sacrifices that i made just for him.

He's really one of a kind lah.. selama we stead, we never even go out like a couple! Alwayz with his friends at the same area. Any gerl would get bored ryte?
But i'm the patient type coz i believe that he will change one day.

But he's the one who broke it off with me. Can't imagine my sadness at that point of time. My body was shivering all over coz i didn't really expect it to happen. It should be me who dumped him but instead he dumped me!

Now he's regretting it coz he noes that i'm the nicest gf of all and his frenz all says that he's stupid to let go of me.

N he expects me to accept him back? Duh!!
Coz i'm not the same Ina as he used to know.

Recently, my ex Hasri, came back into my life.
Was really unexpected coz he's the one that i hate the most and at the same time, love the most.
Was crying when he called me coz i simply cannot hear his voice lah.. Really2 cannot hear it. After such a long time, it juz felt so emotional. N i know that he still cares & loves me.
Said that he wanna meet me coz he wants to explain things. I dun noe if i have the courage or not to face him. Its been so long.. Scared i will cry. I dun wanna cry in front of him.

Is it fated to be?
Is it meant to be?

Haizz...... Another more to think about.

Still trying so hard to find a room. But i'm very particular abt who am i going to live with. AND the toilet must be clean. Plus the rental must be affordable within my means lah.. Haizz.. Nasib, nasib...
I'm still hesitating coz i'm not used to living away from my family... No matter how worst the situation is.. Paling2 i will stay at my auntie's place.. :(