I'm not even sure whether i should blog abt this or not...

But for sure this will be my last entry on my family.

I can't even describe abt how i feel ryte now?

Sometimes i felt so lost that i almost did something that will lead me to a diff path in life.

I know the feeling of sadness will come and go.

But the hurt that you felt can last you a very long, long time...

For sure, i have believed that ppl who have suffered a lot in life will one day regain their happiness.

The "Hikmah" will come to those who believe in fate.

But, i've waited for a long 12 yrs of pain.. waiting for that a lil bit of happiness to come...

Yeah.. shopping, going out can give you the extra bit of happiness..

But its still not the same as having the love of a COMPLETE family..

And the unconditional pure love of giving but not expecting something in return...

That can only be found in a mother's love.

That's why i remember that i've grown attached to that Hanis gerl.. Zali's fren niece.. Such a cute, pretty lil gerl...

But so pitiful and unwanted by the family members...

Even her own mother doesn't want her.. I ever wonder what kind of mother is she?

You can feel the touched when she asked me whether i could be her mum?

Coz she said that her mum doesn't want her.. Such a poor thing..

I would surely have taken her to live with me if i have my own house.

But now, i can't see her anymore.. Since i'm not with Zali anymore.

I miss her so much!!

I used to believe in that fairytale crap with a happy ending.. which is completely unreasonable.

Which can lead to more broken hearts.

And i've always known that i still have a long way to go in life..

I'm not even sure of the path that i wanna take. That's not very good for a 21 yr old ryte.

If i could, then i wish i could dissapear far, far, far away......... into a land with no sadness.

As if that could ever happen.......

Maybe someone could just come and take me away??