Hmm... I sometimes wonder why...

Why i don't have a blessed life like other ppl?
Like other fortunate children? Somebody like Ayumanje? Haha...

In my 21 years of life.. I could only remember very little moments where i've not been suffering (except when i'm still a baby)... not watching my siblings suffering...
Although sometimes i suffer because of them...
But as an eldest daughter, it's only natural for me to be protective of them...

When i think again, yes.. there are many others much more unfortunate than me......
Like the physically and sexually abused children, children in 3rd world countries...

But.. but..

My dad.. haizz.. dunno what to say lah...

So sian...

So, he wants to claim all/everything? Count every single cents that he has spend on me?
Blame god for giving him such an unwanted unfillial daughter?
Blame himself (I quote) for not killing me when i was a baby?

So.. he wants me to give all my pay to him?
Be such a filial daughter?
Suffer endlessly till the end of my life because of him?

Sometimes i envy ppl with an easygoing, generous dad...
But its not like he's such a bad, bad dad... but... dunno how to explain lor...

Sometimes... I wish my mum is still here with me......

If i could just go far far away from here.........................................................
Could someone just come & take me away??