I have now realised that at this point, we really can't live without each other anymore coz our love is really that strong. We have vowed not to live apart and to be together till the rest of our lives. To have beautiful hse with beautiful kids and grandchildrens... Coz I can't imagine being with someone else rather than him.
That means Wan is Ina and Ina is Wan. Nothing except Allah cld separate us and I really hope that our wedding wld be the most happiest moment in our lives of uniting two hearts and that it wld went well.... Amin...

Hi Blog!!
20012010.
Today we went to ROMM to register.
At first boleh salah venue pulak lah!!
Am really happy today. Wan is also happy.
I cld see that he's romantic n loves me a lot.
After that we go and book the mph.
But at night, I received some bad news from Wan regards his dad marah kan dia... :(
No matter what, I wld always love him like no others.

Dear Blog,

Today I went and collect my passport.
Very fast & easy. Coz I had make my appointment.
Great!! Now I cld go overseas more easily.
After that, I went out with my beloved the whole day.
I'm really happy today. :)

Today is my very first treatment of bridal bliss package that I took with the wayan kempis... makes me so inspiration to slim down.. But its very hard!! I dun know how to diet....
God please help me!!
After that my face is so glowy... even the kakak thinks so.
N i finish of my foot reflex package today too...

Dear blog...
To make it short, I would summarize up two days into one...
To start it off, this is already a brand new year!!! Woohoo!!
And on the first day, I go out with Wan. TO watch Avatar!!
Such a nice movie.. so nice and romantic.. (the animation part lah..)
And it's 3D. I think its a tie with Sherlock Holmes.
But Wan, aku maseh marah with him abt yesterday.. So its not such an enjoyable day.
I guess he doesn't feel with his heart.. :(
I meant, he just felt that he dun wanna hold my hand the whole day.. Even when i'm not wearing tudung... And when he finally hold my hand, I cld feel the warmth, of the love.. But maybe for him,
its just a way for him to shelter from the cold of the movie theatre... :(
But I just know that whatever it is, I cld not bear to be angry with him for long...
And now today, there's a lucky streak in the new year.. :)
I finally got the box for my berkat.. :)
I guess... its juz meant to be for me.. :)
I'm really happy.. The new year is off to a great start!!
Can't wait for it to be delivered... I am feeling hyper at 3 am...
I just got a feeling that It would be a lucky year... My lucky year...
The year of my own wedding... Travelling.. My own house... Etc.
Thinking of it makes me happy again..
I guess... Its okay.. if he wants to make me sad everyday...
But I shld always think of happy thots to make me happy... :)

Hi Blog,

Today is the last day of 2009...
Sorry that I didn't blog much lately...
Been a very busy year.
I have to finalise my berkats.. Room decor yg susah sgt nk dpt...
After so many, at last settle on teacup and saucers..
And then skali tkda box pulak..And box is like extra 50 cents...
Abeh bila dah decide nak, abeh tkleh dpt pulak... confusion...
Sorry.. I've got no mood to write today.. I'm sick and alone on new years eve!!
So.. Happy New Year 2010!!
Its the year of my wedding too...5 more mths to go... :)
Hope that the new year wld bring more happiness, more gd health, more blessings, more wealth for me... :)

Hi Blog,

As expected, I felt sick today.. And took MC.
Mr Henry was not happy with me and make me a bit difficult.. :(
And then Cynthia took half day coz of her eyes...
I guess Mr Henry wld not be happy... I must boost up in Jan for my bonus... :)
Btw, next two days wld be a new year.. And its 2010!
Wheww.. time flew so fast... Guess for this year.. I hate to make new resolutions...
Coz my losing weight had been on the list for a few years already.. LOL!!
But I guess, I had to curb some of my bad habits such as being late for work and taking cabs.. Dats extremely bad work ethics man!!
And try to lose some weight for the wedding...
Of course, in 2010, I wanted to be a great wife too.. LOL!!
Hmmm.. The rest is as per normal I guess...

Although loneliness had always been a friend of mine...
I'm leaving my life in your hands...
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind...
Risking it all in a glance...
And how you got me blind is still a mystery...
I can't get you out of my head...
Don't care what is written in your history...
As long as you're here with me...

I don't care who you are...
Where you're from, what you did.. as long as you love me...

Every little thing that you have said and done...
Feels like its deep within me...
Doesn't really matter if you're on the run...
It seems like we're meant to be.....

Today I had my first experience attending a wedding chinese reception at Amara Hotel...
For Uncle Leong's son... Hmm... its very enriching and romantic...
But very expensive... Terkopak duit... First2 nk kasi less.. Abeh takut malu...
But overall, its quite nice... compare to mly wedding, the atmosphere is diff...
Dunno what to expect at my wedding next year...

Dear blog...
I'm getting busier and lazier to update now...
And guess what??
Its already 6 more mths to go... And I have not diet...
And i'm getting scared... I have booked most of the necessary thgs already...
Left with the small2 thgs such as berkats and cards...
Life is wan is really unpredictable and he's very lazy... sometimes cld make me mad...
I've started class.. and seems like I'm not cut to do accts...?
Feels like quitting.. padahal dah malas coz the wedding is keeping me busy...

Today I had a big scare... And Wan kat hospital...
I thought its somethg serious.. but turns out he's only depressed...
I've always known that he got this anxiety problem...
I just don't know how bad it is... Turns out that i'm right...
I really hate it when he's admitted to hospital.. coz I dun want him to think abt his ex wife being a nurse... Esp in NUH or TTSH... Hate it a lot...
Once I hate a person, I wld hate them forever...

Hari nie aku dapat bebual lama dgn mak wan...
Psl hantaran and wedding...
And... aku sedih knape even mak dia pon tk think so highly of him?
And especially in his ex wife case... Wan tk portray kan yg he's in the right...
So happy lah pompuan tu...
aku kesian jgklah dgn nasib tunang aku... Aku just hope that aft this, he wld just follow what I do, and insyallah.. his life wld be better... Our lives wld be better...
Amin...

I'm so stressed right now...
Mana nk fikir psl rumah, psl diri sendiri, psl wedding...
Psl duit... n now... he max out his credit card again!!!!
Mintak maaf but the damage is done.. Now i have to sort out his pay too...

Dear blog...
Life is full of mystery u know...
And today.. I had a shock of my life...
U know who i met today? Its HANIS.
Yeah.. my god daughter... and she's a big girl now...
It all started this morning.. when this sarifie guy came...
I saw him brought someone... But I did not looked up..
Coz I actually do not want to look at him... Coz of the past..
what he did... I heard sharon asked him "u bring ur daughter uh?"
First time nampak dia bwk.. n then after that he asked her to salam aku...
Bila aku angkat muka.. I had a shocked... Its like a dream...
How could she be in front of me??? N this is her dad???
Aku tergamam.. n aku try to ask her nama dia lage.. N its the same name...
N aku then ckp nie ur daughter? Then he said YES!!! Oh my god...
After that dia pon balik.. N then aku was in daze.. aku blom puas tgk hanis n nk tanya khabar dia.. So in split decision n kejar dia... Nasib dpt jumpa dia kat bwh...
N then bebual2 sikit.. I was so happy.. But fie... dia spoilt aku nya happiness...
So stuck up like he thought I wanted to take his daughter away..
N then knape dulu tk jaga btol2??? N i know his daughter way before I know him...
N after I broke up... when i search for hanis.. And all the while bpk dia is just beside me.... What a twisted thg kan??
Isshhh.. geram sey aku... geram... Tapi tkpe... janji dpt jumpa dia jap... N then balik pulak terjumpa kwn ite lama.. hopefully lah no more suprises lage..

Dear blog...
Today I took leave for my fiancee's birthday...
Aku mmg maseh marah towards him... Tapi biasalah...
Marah2 sayang... N skali aku lupa yg pagi aku ada counselling service...
Hehe.. Tk sangka betol yg aku pegi counselling...
The counsellor is nice and handsome... Faham akan masalah aku..
N wan pulak tk percaya.. Masa baru2 jumpa of course lah maseh ada tension but the whole day was very fun.. And we love each other so much...
There is no turning back now... Gd news yg the HDB had approved our appeal and we got our HLE today... Yahoo..!!!
Now hopefully we got our flat pulak!!! Amin.... Amin....
Please... please... we really really need a flat... Amin...

My fiancee is very cruel... He doesn't care about me anymore.
I don't even know if he really loves me or not...
He makes me feel sad & cry everyday..
He does not appreciate all the thgs that I had done for him.
And he does not want to reply to my messages. And he did not wanna call me.
He is so rude that he did not even say thk you for the birthday gift that I picked.
He is like a completely diff person than the one that I love.
Wats the point in living anyway? I might as well just die tomorrow.

I am really sad & dissapointed today... Coz of him.
I was actually kind of good mood today and I look forward to see him later and to pass him the present.. But everything went downhill when he didn't call me.
And I had to find him instead to hear a bad news!!! Called his office and his home.

Okay fine... I know that he's probably sick n on mc... But why can't he just call me?
Why must wait for me to call him?
He could just called me after he called his workplace or something... N I dun even know whether he's really sick or not... He seems fine yesterday...
Dunno he's lying thru his teeth or not.. even just to pass the thg also he did not want.
N he got the cheek to ask me to go there to his house!! Is it delivery service or wat? Slalu aje asyik nk kena dtg umah dia!! Makes me so mad.. Feels like throwing away his present!! N I had to leave it in the office..
All my efforts are wasted.. N i really felt like taking a cab home n just go to sleep!! Instead i spend my last few penny at Causeway Point!!! Dat calms me down a little.

Today I had some free time so I decided to search for my fiancee's present...
I was actually in a lazy mood to shop.. but i felt like eating the cold storage chicken n my feet brought me to Metro... Actually my initial plan was to buy him a key chain with the letter R. I bought it for someone a few yrs back.. n i really like it coz it has some description on it too. But i juz thought that it may be too small.. So i started to try n see what is the belt price (the ones that he likes).
But it turns out to be quite expensive, for a belt.. N i'm really not too sure which one that he likes... So I source out other thgs.. N i remember what he told me abt his beg..
N then I found a few perfect one.. I'm really scared that he won't likes it.. So i tried to choose somethg similar to the ones that he usually used. The beg is not cheap... So I hope that I make the right choice. And after it was wrapped, i turns out to be so big.. Bigger than the original planned key chain which I could hide in my room. The keychain, btw, is no longer there... So dissapointed.
And then I decided to meet him tomorrow to passed him as an advance present... But to be opened on his birthday instead. Actually he left his hp at work.. So, when he called me, I told him that kalau dah confirm, cannot cancel coz the thg is quite big and I dun want to bring it back n forth... He said okay n promised me not to OT...

Today is our 2nd year anniversary!!
I'm so happy today.. Coz 2 yrs is a really big deal to me...
We had gone thru ups and downs so much...
And I'm happy that we could make it thru.. We did not get each other a present...
Coz both had little money.. and i thot i should get him something for his birthday..
We didn't do anything much today.. except for maybe choose a dressing table for the wedding.. Coz my mood was spoilt coz he commented on my stomach n abt hari raya..
but actually coz i was feeling bloated already... n the pain had already started for my menses.. which is due today.. but so far nothing comes out...
Not such a great day for anniversary... But its okay...

And then after the great outing...
He ignored me for three days.. because he only work n sleep...
which makes me mad... because we got no time to talk at all...
And I got something urgent to talk... N he sleeps!!
What make it worst is that when aku skola... and aku ckp dgn dia jgn tido dulu n then he sleeps.. So, on thursday.. he makes ammend n ckp nanti balik kerja dia jumpa aku...
So mood aku pon dah okay balik.... Skali guess what? Tgh aku semangat2... Terus nak jumpa dia at kedai kopi bukit gombak... And then dia alih2 ckp yg kwn dia fairuz tu ada...
Aku pon a bit peng.. Coz aku nk bebual dgn dia.. but dia ckp kwn dia dah kat situ from 5+ so aku thot bdk tu dah nk balik.. So aku lambat2 sikit.. Skali smp aku tgk mcm tgh rancak bebual.. And no chance at all to balik... Haizz.. Nasib.. Nasib... Aku mcm marah tau... Nasib Fairuz nie okay jgk... Tapi dia mcm suka bebual n tknak balik... sambung nya sambung smp kul 9+ and nasib bergerak jgk.. N then wan nk marah aku coz balik nk naik cab!! Padahal aku sebenarnya nk bebual dgn dia.... n then baru aku dpt tau yg dia sebenarnya ada pegi sumwhere... mcm tipu aku gitu coz tk bilang.. nampak sah dah muka guilty.. Boring!!!
Kalau nk kata,, aku mmg the most faithful gf yg ada.. So mmg no prob at all utk sape2 yg stead dgn aku.... Then balik ingat nk bebual kat tepon.. n aku ckp jgn tido.. but dia tido lage!!